My wife and I have not been divorced so we do not have experience in this matter.  I know many people that have gone through the process.  In most cases it appears that the ex wife wants the ex husband to support them for life.  The sad part is that in most cases they use the kids to accomplish this.

In the State of Minnesota, it appears that the parent that spends more time with the kids may receive more childcare money from the other.  This sounds fair until you get lawyers, judges, and custody evaluators in the mix.  At that point the kids are moved to a back burner and it appears that the only thing that matters is money.  This behavior is quite common among Naïve Americans.  Statistics indicate that currently one out of two people have been divorced at least once.  Can you imagine the numbers of kids with divorced parents?

Less than a year ago a judge produced an order in which my son would have his kids according to the following schedule:

- Wednesdays from 05:00 PM to Thursdays at 08:00 AM.

- Every other weekend from Friday at 05:00 PM to Monday at 08:00 AM.

My son agreed to this under the assumption that his kids would have a more stable life.  Coming and going several times a week is quite disruptive for the girls.  There was something else in the order.  During the months of summer, time would be split in half.  Each of the parents would have the kids for a full week at a time.  My son wanted this to be year round but judges, lawyers and custody evaluators had something else to say.  It is interesting how people with the least knowledge and interest have the power to make decisions that affect young Naïve Americans.

As summer approaches, the ex wants to keep the children in the winter schedule.  She can get more overall time in a year ($$$) and it is more convenient for her not to change the routine.  But what about the children?

Since the divorce my son has picked up the girls every single time it was his turn and has spent it with us.  The girls, my son, wife and I spend quality time together.  We plan activities that we can all participate in (i.e., zoo visits, movies, parks, biking, restaurants, sleepovers, shopping, etc).  My son, who has allergies to pets, got a small puppy so the girls can play with.  With the exception of one Saturday evening that he was going out with some friends at 06:00 PM, he has always spent all his court assigned time (I believe it is called parenting) with his daughters.

In that same period, the ex has been dropping the girls during workdays after school in a day care.  Most weekends she takes the girls to visit her parents that live in a small town in rural Minnesota about an hour away.  That sounds good, the problem is that she literally dumps the kids for days or if she stays in the area, she spends most of her time with friends.  Great parenting!

My son has been staying home for the past few months.  A sign of the economical times the USA is going through.  He is willing and has offered his ex to take care of the girls at any time in order to avoid them being at a daycare facility.  She does not want that to happen because her $$$ would be reduced / eliminated and possibly she would have to pay my son child support.  So what about the children?

In a few weeks incompetent or not caring judges, lawyers and custody evaluators will decide how my granddaughters will spend their time this summer.  The older wants to spend all her time with my son and us.  The younger, perhaps due to the state of affairs during the past few years, does not seem to care or understand what is going on.  Hopefully this is just a period in her life.  Perhaps we need to thank judges, lawyers and custody evaluators for her behavior.

My strong recommendation / suggestion for any adult Naïve American considering having a child is to think over and over how stable their marriage is before committing to bring a life into this world.  A child does not fix a broken marriage.  A divorce is always hard on children.

Our laws and procedures need to be CHANGED.  It is obvious they are not working for children.